I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently. I am a big believer in the importance of surroundings, especially the environment you operate in regularly and the people you spend the most time with. Oftentimes, I think we make it so hard on ourselves by trying to operate differently in the same old circumstances. Sometimes venturing to a new venue or hanging out with a new group of people thinking and doing things differently are enough to shake things up.
That being said, I’ve found that it is also true that “wherever you go, there you are.” When we try to avoid our problems by outrunning them, they are likely to just follow us. But, when we try to cultivate a new environment externally as the result of trying to support the changes we are making internally, then it’s much more likely to stick and be fruitful.
Change is always an inside and outside job. Oftentimes, we start on the inside and those changes are eventually reflected on the outside. Sometimes, we start on the outside by taking action until we start to reflect that identity on the inside (the proverbial “fake it until you make it” concept, though I really don’t like that framing. I prefer “practice it until you become it”). Sometimes, we work on both fronts simultaneously - we do the introspection and inner work and we change our environment to make it easier to adopt and sustain those changes.
I don’t think that we can bypass doing the work to understand ourselves and then figure out how to best support ourselves. We may try to. We may think we can. But it will always follow us until we look it in the eye and address it holistically (whatever the issue is at the current moment) - from the inside out and from the outside in.